Crossroad – Security or step into the darkness

Wednesday I experienced an extreme down, I had to send away my girlfriend which came over. Since I couldn’t deal with anyone else and just had to be alone. She is awesome and understood the situation, she supported me since the beginning.

I arrived on a another big crossroad right now.
The founding which had financially backed me up the last 6 months, just expired. So I’m totally on my own with far to less income to survive of it. A ex-collegeau, Jakob Braunisch contacted me and told me about a job offer at King Berlin, the company which made candy crush, a position as level designer is available. This guy already organized another good job for me back than at Young Internet/Goodbeans. We had a very inspiring talk on a dinner together with his girlfriend, as a Result I made the newest game „1 Power“ which I handed in to Apple today.

But the point is that there would be now the choice to apply with the help of Jakob at King for the open position and become an employe again. This sounds perfect for the careful, fearful and sometimes wise voice in me, since I still could develop apps on the side.

But on this wednesday this exploded in me and ate me from inside out. I would not have the energy to continue doing what I do, I would delay or even abandon my real destiny, of course I would work on games at King and it would be awesome for my resume but…

It makes me so sad inside…but of course I have to live of something… But I just feel like I’m about to start.. maybe just a bit longer…I’m growing so much right now…

I have money left for the next 3-4 months and could save some extra 1-2 month by moving to my girlfriend and rent out my current place.

So sail to a save harbor or walk into the darkness to see what it brings?

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